I know what you’re thinking. At one point you were thinking: “This guy, he starts a vlog, promises more shit, doesn’t deliver.” And then you’re like: “This guy again, starts a blog, gets shit done for like 5 mins, then peaces out. And now you’re like: “….” because you stopped reading and therefore stopped caring. Well, i’d like to say that I stopped caring too, but that is a falsehood.
I enjoyed writing my blog, but I started to run out of ideas. MOAR Cats, Shre-views, my top 5 ”____’s”: these were the ramblings of a desperate man, grasping thin air for juicy material. From now on, I think i’ll just stick to what I know best: LOST trivia ME. So, as the first step into to this new direction, I will describe the harrowing details of how I got and dealt with “gout”.
And what a painful step it was…
May 22nd, Monday: 7:03 AM…ET
At least that’s what if felt like.
Gout is an really painful/shitty ailment. To put it in the simplest (nerdiest) terms possible, it’s like the joint in your big toe is that trench in Star Wars IV. And Luke just used the force and a proton torpedo to blow it to fuck. For less fiction and more science on the matter, click here. I had plenty of trouble of getting from from my bed to the bathroom, stepping gingerly on my swollen toe and wincing as the pain came into full swing. I couldn’t even be bothered to take the extra steps to feed the cat:
I manned up and made my way to work anyway (making dough is what I dow).
Big mistake.
8:03 AM
I am never late for the train. I have plenty of time to park my car at the station and casually make my way to the platform. I make it look easy (and it should be, it’s fucking walking for shit’s sake). However, on this most life-is-fucking-with-me-iest days, I saw the great steel carriage pull in while I hobbled up the granite sidewalk like a business-casual Quasimodo:
After a short burst of grimacing, limping, and apologizing to the people I bumped into in my chaotic…let’s call it a “run”, I made it to the train. Straight croozin from here.
Yeahright.
9:45 AM
That’s it. Game over. Whoever’s playing me has me down for the count. I don’t need 10 seconds; I need zero. I strain and moan as I slump on my office chair. And then I start to surf reddit (derp), but no amount of Internet could distract me from the Guantanamo Bay that was my big toe. I begged leave from my superiors and was on my way to the walk-in-clinic.
Which was 4 blocks away:
10:45 AM
After being told to sit down by a comely nurse, or receptionist or whatever, I started to notice the types of people that sat around me. Good old regular folk just trying to get in with the doc. I hid my pain very well. No one knew that I was in pain, unless they noticed that my shoe was off and that my foot was inches from my face as I tried to “spot the pain”. Mercifully, I was called in just when the dagger had reached the bone, the point of torturous misery.
12:45 AM
“What? Wait, where did those two hours go?” you might ask. They were nothing special. I watched a child dig and consume the treasures deep within the caverns of his nasal passages and observed that most of the men in the room had made terrible choices with their facial hair. Oh yeah, and the doctor saw me and immediately diagnosed me with Gout, after casually jerking me toe left and right to demonstrate the symptoms of the ailment. I worked through the pain trying to hang on to every word he said, all the while thinking:
This wish was soon granted as a dragged my now un-cooperative foot to the pharmacy with a paper with that signature chicken-scratch writing, which gave me a second chance of feeling normal again. And so I did:
Moral of the Story: If you contract gout, don’t suffer through it. Instead, take advantage of your predicament. Get primo prescription pain killers that make you feel like you’re bouncing on cotton candy clouds.
I like talking. It’s one of those social things that gets me all warm and fuzzy inside, like downing a hot chocolate or being pierced with a blade hot off the forge. You get to impart wisdom, receive some sound advice, or just talk hours on end about your favorite thing, just like Julie Andrews (although NO Nazi’s are involved – thank heavens for that). It’s all part of a growing experience; we can’t evolve emotionally or intellectually with society if we cram ourselves into a corner and have a one way conversation with words.
Discourse is a natural part of our existence. It’s what keeps us in the loop, alive, interacting with our fellow (wo)man. It’s a beautiful thing!…except when this shit happens:
I get it; texting is fast, convenient, and doesn’t cost you precious minutes. It’s like getting yourself off from a $5 prostitute because you “need to get shit done” and then get on with your life (and home to your family – you sick adulterer you). It’s cool if you’re chilling by yourself, having words with a friend about the truly amazing tits you saw on “Game of Thrones” last night. But if you’re among other people, look the fuck up and open your mouth (say words so you don’t look like a retarded goldfish). Engage in something that’s right in front of you rather than reach for the company that lies miles away. Surely the future of dominant communication can’t be squarely between our thumbs? I’ve seen girls sitting mere feet from each other sending messages, looking up, and then giggling like there was something hillarious about the abysmal use simple communication methods. The ye olde equivalent would go something like this:
And since literacy was the craft of men who were privileged with the skill, this would have been one such way to squander the fine art of reading and writing (and giggling).
Convenience begets necessity, and so it goes on until luxury becomes the very thing that supports our communications infrastructure. In a more pessimistic extreme: our lack of effort will soon lead us into the cradle of technology so that we are born into an existence where we cannot be without our cybernetic extensions.
“Cool, I get to be like one of those sweet T’s from Skynet!” you may say.
And you would be right, it would be fucking awesome….alright forget whatever I just said. This is way to go. It’s an inevitability I can live with. Go on texting till the very fabric of our being is replaced by circuitry and the non-organic elements around us. It’ll be totally rad.
While posing for the annual family photo shoot, Rodney couldn’t help noticing how his children failed to carry on his unique features. He turned to his beloved Giselle as if to ask: “Why don’t they look like me, even a little bit?” To which she replied: “My sweet Rodney, you’re a cat. And I like to f*ck around”.
Needless to say, the camera man had captured a rare “WTF?” moment worth more than the standard 1000 word value.
You might have heard of them, you might have not (the positive thing is that you still have the ability to hear…unless you don’t, for which you have my deepest sympathies), but the Moving Mind Studio (MMS) is very much like that tree that makes a sound as it falls in the forest: they’re still funny even if you haven’t been witness to their raucous material.
The comedy troupe consists of Samuel Brisson, Ryan George, and Brandon Calder: three Montrealers Laval-ers who came together to make people laugh. An honorable philosophy, but obviously they’re gunning for fame too. I had the pleasure, albeit short-lived, to attend University with Sam and Ryan; I even did a few projects with them, one of which won a slew of awards in the Diesel Montreal Film Race in 2009 and placed 4th internationally (video below):
Come to think of it, I met Brandon at that shoot. I wasn’t impressed by him at first, but then he gave me a $100; now, I am forever impressed.
This article (if you would be so gracious to deem it so) commemorates The Moving Mind Studio’s 2nd anniversary of being alive(?). It’s a great milestone: the group hasn’t disbanded, their material is not boring, and Ryan, despite his many claims, is still not Batman. So let’s get to the good on MMS and see what they can do for your funny bone:
Smile n’ Charm - It’s all about tits and ass these days. And even though these guys couldn’t rock an A-cup to save their lives (except for Ryan), with their winning charm emanating through those handsome mugs, nothing can stop them, except maybe a disfiguring accident of some sort. (Stock up on ridiculously-good-looking insurance boys)
My A Chemical Romance - The boys of MMS grew up together, so it’s no wonder that their friendship transcends borders, from the medium of reality to their world on film. If you don’t know what i’m talking about, read a book. Or you could just watch these hilarious bloopers:
Professionalism…and Poop - Online videos should have decent production values to be successful. Nobody wants to watch a grainy, barely audible video of your cat licking its genitals; then again, no decent human being would endorse their time in such nonsense, even if it was in HD. It is plain to see that these guys have a passion for delivering high quality videos to your front doorstepwelcome mat…Internets. Sam, Ryan and Brandon are sticklers for pro-edits and tasteful shots. There’s even some cool Adobe After Effects touch-ups they use to make their vids sparkle. To balance this air of serious commitment, there’s some heavy smut in some of their videos to show that “boys [will indeed] be boys” and that sex jokes will always make people laugh and, for the weak of stomach, puke.
Fan-cest - It is quite disheartening to see your idols fall from morality, become, egomaniacs, and morph into a Charlie Sheen-like creature that becomes drunk on winning their own success. MMS keeps it humble, always giving back to the fans. They even have a fan of the month video feature on their facebook page! Aww guys, you love your lovers don’t you?…that makes you perverts.
No Holds Barred - MMS has some great original concepts for comedy, like in this video here. Very little of their material is derivative or following trends (although their most popular video does). The try their best to bring something new, even if it isn’t their best material; and that’s something you gotta respect.
Now you know a litte bit about their style, you should get to know the people behind the people…who are actually themselves. I (SS) sat down with Ryan George (RG), Samuel Brisson (SB), and Bradon Calder (BC) of the Moving Mind Studio last week to understand the group, its members, their work, and their quirky sense of humor:
SS: Thanks for sitting down with me guys…although, I apologize Sam; there simply aren’t enough chairs.
SB: Well then don’t mind me if I plank during this entire interview. (Lays stiffly on floor).
SS: …Okay, so, tell me a little bit about the group. What are you guys all about?
RG: We started as an interpretive dance troupe, but after a few failed shows it was clear to us that comedy was the way to go. We love to make people laugh and we love to entertain, so as a group, those are definitely our main goals.
SS: By the way, having gone to school with you guys, except Brandon (sorry man, I’m sure we’d have been tight), it’s great to see you again!
BC: A little wishful thinking never hurt anybody I guess… but no, I would have hated you.
SS: Lovely. It’s my understanding that the group was “Sans-Brandon” at one point. So my question is to Brandon, What do you feel like you’ve brought to the group since you’ve joined?
BC: Dark Chocolate. I literally brought dark chocolate one day on set. On a serious note, smoking is bad for your health. Also, I’m not too sure what I brought to the group, but I hope it was something good. We pretty much all have the same sense of humor but sometimes we see things at different angles. So maybe i brought another angle to our trapezoid. I failed geometry.
SS: Really? Then I have a feeling you won’t really amount to much; it’s all geometry from here my friend. Ryan, you recently followed the youtube craze of “Shit Girls Say” with “Shit Guys Don’t Say Out Loud”, and garnered a lot of fame, with the video now at over 2 million views. How has this affected your status as Youtube Celebs?
RG: We’re still really far from being Youtube Celebs, but our number of fans has definitely increased since that video. Before Shit Guys Don’t Say Out Loud we had about 750 subscribers on Youtube, and now we have just over 10,000.
SS: In this day and age, it’s natural for many people to hate on your material, saying that it isn’t “witty” or “funny”. Do you guys have a response to that?
SB: Everyone has their own sense of humor, so it’s understandable that people don’t appreciate some of our stuff. And the fact that they’re behind their computers gives them more balls to hate. And we hate their balls right back!
RG: I actually read an interesting quote in a philosophy book regarding this phenomenon recently… I may be paraphrasing a little but I believe it was… “Haters gonna hate.”
BC: KILL ALL HATERS!!! (Holds up broomstick)
SS: Whoa there Brandon! (laughs) So, Ryan, you have huge following of fan girls you appreciate your man/boyish charms. Naturally, I assume it wouldn’t surprise you to know that you also have an equally impressive “gay” following as well. If a bonafide hottie were to approach you, how difficult would it be to say no?
SB: Well it’s always hard turning someone down but… oh… wait, you asked Ryan didn’t you…
RG: Well, having suffered a very serious incident involving an electric pencil-sharpener a few years back, I’m afraid I’m not in a position to satisfy anyone… whether they be male, female or office-supply. I’m very flattered though.
BC: PFF! More for me.
SS: Obviously you guys are very skilled with your production techniques, who’s responsible for shouldering the production and/or post-production process?
RG: Well Sam owns most of the equipment we use (camera, tripod, lights) so he’s definitely the most skilled with that gear. As for post-production, we all kind of take turns editing videos, depending on the project.
SS: You guys definitely seem like you have ambitions to “go” places. Where do you see yourself in the future, say 5 years from now?
SB: Walking into a location with a camera in hand, ready to film our next short…. and I’m covered in diamonds.
RG: I see myself being 27… I’ll have a kick-ass goatee, and if all goes according to plan, a horse.
SS: Who doesn’t love a good mare? Well, it’s been a pleasure talking with ya’ll. Hope you don’t mind if I ask you a borderline controversial question. Who’s the funniest in the group?
SB: Ryan.
RG: If by “group” you mean Moving Mind Studio… Sam. If by “group” you mean ALL of YouTube… Brandon.
SS: (laughs) Alright, thanks for your time guys. I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.
You can check out MMS on their Youtube site here. Subscribe, comment, and help these guys achieve their dreams; they deserve all the love they can get. I’ll leave you guys with my favorite MMS video of all time:
After leaving the theatre in a state of awe having watched The Dark Knight, Cassandra made a decision that spread waves of controversy in her community. Having never read the comics, she was not aware that she was breaking some serious unwritten laws.
Laws that matter to people who have to time to devote themselves to the universe of the Batman comics, anyway. Dorks.
Creators/Writers: Andrew O’Connor, Jesse Armstrong, Sam Bain
Cast: David Mitchell, Robert Webb, Olivia Colman, Matt King, Paterson Joseph
Plot: Peep Show revolves around the lives of Mark Corrigan and Jeremy “Jez” Usborne, the unfortunate situations that befall them, and the atrociously terrible ways by which they handle those situations
Catch-Up: Runtime – 25 min ; Series Length – 7 seasons (42 episodes). Currently – On Hiatus; Verdict – You’ll want to spread out viewing over a month or two, but you’ll be addicted by the 3rd episode and finish it within days
Where: Channel 4 (If you live in the UK)…but just watch it on the internet. Youtube has all the episodes.
Review
I might just go on a rant here…or Mark Corrigan might just ahead and do it for me.
Production: People might have their qualms about British television production, especially in the 1990s and early 2000′s. Low quality film, dim lighting, and off-kilter design choices kept American audiences at bay for years. But I say:”Materialism be Damned!” Peep Show makes up for its aesthetic shortcomings (only present in its first 4 seasons) with some unique direction. As you can see from the video above, the camera is ALWAYS from the perspective of a character on the show. It’s kind of intimate, not like let’s-get-it-on intimate maybe sometimes, but more along the lines of: You are in the moment and therefore the jokes are much funnier than they usually would be…intimate. The camera work is also stellar, truly mimicking the perspective of a REAL human being. As opposed to the legless freaks that parade around the world of Call of Duty.
Writing: The word “writing” doesn’t do the sublime humor of peep show the justice it deserves. Sam Bain and Jesse Armstrong more likely use paintbrushes to create the memorable story arcs, highly original characters, and unparalleled one-liners that’ll have you quoting them till you die from laughter (hopefully when you’re in your 80′s, fondly remembering the show before the terrible disease that’s ailing you can claim your life). If I was a religious man, I would kneel at my bedside every night and thank the almighty God Channel 4 Executive Board for believing in a show that doesn’t take its audience’s intelligence for granted; for all its historical, scientific, and classical references, Peep Show is still able to make good on the “funny”. Even though some of the jokes are simple in their execution, you can always expect a reference or quip that takes you by surprise. Here’s a GREAT example:
The show doesn’t rely on conventional crutches that plague comedies like laugh tracks, stereotypes, or…happy endings for that matter. The plot lines end up in moments much like The Office, where awkwardness reigns supreme. However, it’s easier to watch, because the premise of the situations are stacked with laughs to be had.
Characters: Oh sweet lord, the characters, THE CHARACTERS! This is easily the best part of the show. Never have I been more enthralled by a cast of such personalities as I have in Peep Show. Describing them to you would take too much time and be too many words for you to read (and you’ll probably get bored and go on facebook or watch porn or something), so i’ll just show them to you:
Mark Corrigan – Anti-Social History Buff **My Fav**
Jeremy Usborne – Jaded Musician/Total Fuck-Up
Super Hans – Philosopher/Pill-Taker/Musician/God
Alan Johnson – “Kojak” Businessman
Well, those are the regulars for you, but there are so many more who are just as funny, awkward, and borderline psycho. The consistency of having solid, quirky characters on the show is what sets Peep Show apart from the norm.
Why you should watch it
You mean besides everything that i’ve just said? It’s a show that endeavors to make you laugh without compromising itself. And that is a very rare thing these days with studio execs knocking down door and flipping tables (and casting Betty White) trying to boost their ratings. We’ve continuously been disappointed by comedies trying to “mix it up”, add a laugh track, or pie-slam jokes into our faces while we sit there eating the discount whipped cream slowly dripping from our faces; and we obviously get sick (it is “discount” people).
Peep Show has never failed to make me laugh. And it’s as simple as that. Every episode has been a pure joy to watch as it actually meets and exceeds my expectations. How many comedy shows out there do that? Live up to what the fans want rather than what the suit who pours discount cream into your uncooperative mouths would have. An audience bloated and sick with sub-par comedy. “Yes,” he would smile and say, maliciously emptying the contents of the no-name can,”I have you all under the spell.” Well, there’s some good news. You can shut him up and break the spell with a healthy dose of Peep Show. And rack up some giggles to boot.
Once upon time, I had vlog. Unlike most fairytales, it did not end happily ever after. In fact, it crashed and burned in a glorious inferno of laziness (my laziness). I just lost my taste for it, plus video editing takes an entire millenium day of being slumped in your rotating chair watching your face do some pretty weird things as you cut away your mistakes and poorly performed segments…(it’s a really creepy notion). I have released a few more on occasion, if not to satiate the Shrey’s Vlog mania that swept the nation 40 or so dedicated fan club. As it is my birthday today, I thought i’d relive some of the more youthful and rotund times in my life. Here are some classic vlogs that you should check out:
**PUT ON YOUR RETRO-VISION GLASSES NOW. NOTE: OKAY BY SHREY DOES NOT PROVIDE SAID GLASSES. GO FIND THEM…NOW.**
In no particular order (OR IS IT???!!?!>>%%^$?)…
No it’s not.
Shrey’s Vlog: S01E22 – Fame over Substance
Shrey’s Vlog: S01E16 – Chivalry Drivel
Shrey’s Vlog: S01E10 – The Century Club Experience
Shrey’s Vlog – S02E02: The Origins of Douchebaggery
And, to finish, an all time “Fan Favorite”:
Shrey’s Vlog: S01E23 – The Voice
That actually wasn’t too bad! (aka. “I Funny Guy! No?”). Hopefully, i’ll find it within me to grovel at a computer again, someday. Until then, you can watch a much heftier version of me subject myself to crude humor again and again…and…nah forget it. I got to do shit.
